1---
2date: 2025-01-16
3location: Miami, US
4author: Anton
5---
6
7# Programmable intimacy
8
9I am on the call with the sales person from one of the software vendors I’m trying to use.
10
11We had an intro call one month before, since then I made a proof of concept demo using their tool and went on a two weeks vacation.
12
13This call is a catch-up call to talk about the demo experience and future. It starts with small talk.
14
15He asks me how my vacation was. I told him a few things and how the weather is now in Mexico. And then he says, “I thought you were in Miami.”
16
17At this moment, I realized that during the last meeting, he recorded all the data points about me and is now just recalling them.
18
19I tell him that I am still not in Miami but will be back soon.
20
21While I say this, I see on my screen him typing all my answers.
22
23Why are we doing this?
24
25I know that sales small talk is performative and no one cares about each other really.  But just sit there with CRM and type answers and use them next time during the meeting as a prompt? What is the actual skill here?  The ability to type and read?
26
27Am I evaluating company by the ability of its sales people *to write things down and then read them back*?
28
29Can we focus on each other for a moment? When we talk, why cannot we be present? Why do I see a person reading and writing things on another screen?
30
31You can still write down your notes, but after the call, from memory, from remembering what was interesting or important.
32
33Just be present. It's only a 15-minute call.
34
35### Reflections
36
37 - programming the sense of intimacy, connection, caring is *antihuman*.
38- not being present is *antihuman*.