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1---
2location: Kotor
3description: Short story about Serbia
4date: 2023-05-03
5---
6
7# Serbia
8
9May 3, 2023. I am on the plane from Warsaw to Podgorica. It has been almost 11 years since my last visit to Montenegro - country where I lived from Aug 2010 till Dec 2011. Also it has been 9 years since my last visit to Balkans in general. In May 2014 I was in Macedonia where I took quick decision to move to the United States.
10
11I hold many nice memories about this region. I remember many nice people that I have met.
12
13But today I want to tell you small less pleasant story. It’s about nationalism and stereotypes. I will try not to make any conclusions. It is just one story.
14
15When you are in Balkans it’s hard to escape the topic of Balkans wars. I recommend you to watch [BBC documentary](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Death_of_Yugoslavia) on this topic.
16
17Every country experienced these wars in a very different way. Slovenia, Croatia, Montenegro, Macedonia, Kosovo, Serbia and Bosnia - each had their own story. I am not going to describe it here.
18
19The elephant in the room is ofc Serbia. When you travel in other countries you may hear some sad stories of broken families and of people surviving siege and so on. But when the discussion touches Serbia you quickly learn that they have former generals who became war criminals who never have been prosecuted and just hide in small Serbian villages. For a while you cannot comprehend that. How is that possible? It’s one thing to commit crimes and another not to prosecute people who did them.
20
21So back to 2011. I live in Podgorica and decide to spend a weekend in Belgrade. I don’t need visa to visit Serbia and it is not going to be my first time there. I buy overnight bus ticked and reserve hostel for one night.
22
23At the middle of the night bus reaches the borders. All the passports are collected. After 5 minutes bus driver comes to me and asks me to go talk to the officers. Those are guys with kalashnikovs in the uniform. They ask me where am I going. I tell them I want to spend a weekend in Belgrade and I have my hostel reservation. I show confirmation for the payment I made to the hostel's confirmation printed from my email. They tell me that this document is not enough - that I need to get “formal invitation from the hostel" printed on actual paper.
24
25I told them that in all other countries my confirmation and receipt is usually enough. Officer tells me with the smile “this is not other country, this is Serbia”, he takes his feast and makes double tap on his heart while saying “Serbia”. It looks a bit surreal and I am just smiling - he and his friends are smiling, it’s clear it will not be possible to change their mind. It’s a middle of the night and they clearly enjoy making my life more difficult. Bus driver gets nervous (everything lasted like 5 minutes), he tells me take my things from the bus.
26
27Luckily at the exact same time there was stopped bus that was going the other way. I took my backpack and boarded bus back to Podgorica.
28
29This was the only time in my life when I wasn’t allowed to enter some country. It was  surreal experience not because of the result but because of the  words and emotions of the border officers.
30
31In those people I can definitely see how some soldiers would take extra pleasure torturing people 20 years ago somewhere in Bosnia. To reject someone is fine, to reject someone and derive pleasure from it - it’s a bit psychotic.
32
33That is the story. I have more on Serbia and Balkans. I will write it next time.

1---
2location: San Francisco
3description: What I love about this country
4date: 2019-11-11
5tags: people, America, parenthood, children, USA
6---
7
8# This is America
9
10
11I grew up in a culture full of hatred toward America. I will write a separate post on this topic one day, but not today. Because today I don't want to write about hatred. I want to write about what I *love* in the US, about the things that make this place unique and different.
12
13Last weekend I took a trip to Los Angeles with my friends. I observed a few brilliant parts of American culture and American life. And for me, *those* are the parts that define America for me. America, like any other place, has problems. And it's fine. What makes this place unique is its unique best parts. They offer tons of hope about the future. It shows how life can be. The States are about hope and dreams.
14
15So what did I see?
16
17I was at the beach with my friends. There were a bunch of non-profits that were using surfing as the therapy.
18
19One of the organizations - [Best Day](https://bestdayfoundation.org/) - worked with special kids. It looked like this. Five adult instructors would take care of one special kid. They would put him on board with special seat; and they would surf, smile to the kid, hold his hand, hug him. They would talk to his mom.
20
21I was so touched by all of this. I cried there on the beach, observing love, and humanity.
22
23If I were a kid right now, I would want to grow up in the US. There is no other country that I know that knows how to deal with kids. Of course, you can have a terrible experience here, but you can have an experience that is so much ahead of many other places. And I want to focus on this. Not on the problems, but the best parts.
24
25If I were special kid now, I would want to be in the US. America is the most inclusive and advanced country in that regard. You would be fully integrated into society. It tears me up when I see not only infrastructure, but groups of teenagers getting food together. And when special kids are fully-integrated, laughing, making jokes etc.
26
27But it's not only about special kids. In the US, there are lots of people who know how to interact with kids. I cry when I observe even the simplest situations, because those are the things that I never had myself.
28
29Americans have the idea that every kid is unique in a way. They make you believe in yourself. Adults will help you. They recognize how stressful and scary it can be to be a kid in a lot of situations. They will walk you through all the difficult experiences. They will make sure that every *kid* knows that instructor/adult is there for them. Kids can be awkward, make mistakes.
30
31But adults will be supportive, they will be there for the kids. They will smile. They will celebrate even the smallest action (including just showing up).
32
33When I was at the beach, I saw a lot of touches, hugs, high-fives, lots of smiles, lots of support. It's an experience that is very hard to put into words. It's like the adults *know* how kids feel and what they need.
34
35And they try to provide that.
36
37When I talked to the instructors, I realized that they are fully aware of kids' needs. Everything they told me, made sense to me as I also once was a kid. And then I saw they do exactly what they told me in real life and even more. They were like these magicians - saying the right things and doing them. It still feels surreal to me and gives me shivers.
38
39So what else did I see?I heard so many times that America is a very individualistic society. And then I went to play soccer with my friend. It happens to be a Friday night in LA, and our soccer field was inside the Culver City High School.
40
41I couldn't believe what I saw. This high school (as any other high school in this country) had a stadium. There was a football game. The stadium was full of people - kids, teachers, parents, locals. Friday night in Los Angeles - people could be anywhere they want. But they were *there*. All together. Kids, teachers, parents. As a community. Watching the game, enjoying live music and dances, fireworks. Everything in the local school, every week.
42
43In America, people do show up. They show up for their kids, and they show up for their communities. It's unimaginable to me.
44
45In America, if you have kids - you would come and see them playing whatever sports they do. You can also volunteer to be the coach of your kids' team.
46
47People *do care* here. I never saw anything like that frankly.
48
49Those are just two things. There are many more that I love here. But even those two are enough to make me *love* America.

1---
2location: Los Angeles
3description: On traveling and the diversity of the world
4date: 2015-05-25
5tags: traveling, education, diversity
6---
7
8# Traveling and Diversity
9
10One of the best parts of traveling for me was meeting people from different cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds, professions. In this post, through my various hosts I've met between 2012-2015, I'll try to reflect on the diversity of people and lives.
11
12In June 2012, I was staying in Zagreb in a beautiful apartment owned and decorated by two extremely talented local architects. I've met their friends who were also architects, and I believe to this day Croatia has the highest ratio of architects per country that I know. This couple was unbelievable, they told me about architecture in Zagreb, about Serbian-Croatian war in the 1990s, about sailing and Croatian islands, about differences between coastal Croatia and northern parts of the country. I've learned about local coffee traditions, discussed Croatian football, pastries, local food markets, Croatian language, trips to Italy, Venetian Biennale, and many more.
13
14In Sarajevo, I've stayed in the apartment owned by the famous local radio journalist. He was in the city during the Siege of Sarajevo. He traveled a lot, been and worked in many different countries. What I liked the most was the love he had for his country, his city, his religion, and culture.
15
16When I came to Rio, I've stayed in the place rented out by Irish couple who moved to Brazil and was working in the travel industry. They were renting out their apartment while making 2-weeks tourist trips to the Bahia.
17
18I came to São Paulo at the end of 2012. I've stayed at the apartment with a fantastic view on Praça Roosevelt. The place was rented out by the Brazilian designer who moved years ago to Amsterdam. The place was small but gorgeous. I think it remains an apartment with the best interior design I ever saw. I never saw the owner in person but I feel I was able to connect and understand a lot about our host through the design.
19
20In January 2013, I arrived in Mexico City from Brazil. I've stayed in the family home with a family of 3 people: grandma, our host and her kid. It was a huge surprise for me to discover that the family moved here a lot of years ago from Brazil! I still don't know how common it is for people to leave Brazil and come to Mexico or the Netherlands. But two of my hosts did just that.
21
22In El Salvador, I've stayed in a small family house that belonged to the super kind and friendly person. Single Salvadorian young mom, with lovely boy, was working as a graphic designer (making designs for the drug's packaging) in the local company. I've met her family: mother and brother were respected doctors in the local hospital. I've visited this hospital and spent one day shopping together on the local market and next day relaxing together on the seaside.
23
24In Tegucigalpa, I've stayed in a tiny hotel with ten rooms. I got acquainted with the hotel owner who was working on the site with all tourist rentals for Honduras.
25
26My hosts in Leon Nicaragua were a couple in the late 30s from France. They visited this beautiful country years ago, liked the place and moved to run their small mini-hotel.
27
28I've stayed in Panama with well-off young Colombian couple who left their home country and moved their family business to Panama. Guy had Belgian roots and girl was from the Arabic family in Cartagena. Brother of my host became a quite famous comedian using Vine to post his short funny videos about Latin culture.
29
30In Ecuador, I've stayed with the Ecuadorian/Catalan guy. It was very tough for him to identify himself with one of the ethnicities. At the time he was remodeling his mom's home in the Quito's downtown to become a small hotel. He told me about the diversity of Ecuador, his travel to India, and dreams to learn shamans' craft.
31
32In Washington, I stayed with a young American couple who were working for White house and dreamed of improving their country.
33
34In Istanbul, I've rented a place together with a local fashion photographer. What I remember about him was his frustration with local government (which is a very common topic among the majority of countries I visited).
35
36In Macedonia, I've rented a place from the local couple (wife was a manager in the local branch of big bank and husband was taking care of the house, kids and Airbnb property). I mostly interacted with a husband who was officially unemployed by his own choice (which is still uncommon today for some reason). This allowed us to have multiple interesting discussions.
37
38I wanted to analyze diversity that travel can provide: ethnicities, cultures, food, languages, etc. It allows you to learn about different professions, hear different opinions, views, conclusions. There are a lot of opportunities just in travel, you can find friends, you can find jobs, you can find connections. If you experienced all of this you can create something new. You can become a fusion of different cultures, ideas and form or create something unique on top of that.